Now that's what I'm talking about.

Hahaha have I ever mentioned how excited I am for Portal 2?

Maybe talking nerdy will help? Asassin's Creed Brotherhood?

Well internet, it's official. Just when I need my xbox the most, it fails me. Well, not really my Xbox, but the good internet is down, and all I have left is a measly two bars of service with which to write this post. I would fix it, but alas, the wireless is two apartments over. Inside that apartment resides an elderly missionary couple from Idaho. IDAHO. They have no idea how to fix the internet even if they did figure out that it was down. Also, with the impending doom of my last semester of college ending in just five weeks, I'm stressing a little over the job market. Also (again), I have 20 pages of my screenplay due tomorrow. I haven't even written up to page five. I'M DOOMED!

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about something for today. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. For the record, no I have not played it yet. It's only 10:50 at night. It doesn't get released for another hour and ten minutes. I probably won't buy it until well after it has gone down in price. Why? Because I don't need it. I've heard that ACB was built for multiplayer. This is the reason I lost interest in the latest installment. Assassin's Creed IS NOT A MULTIPLAYER GAME. NEWSFLASH! That's not what the series is about! It's about the engaging story! The sick assassinations! The distant lands! I don't want to assassinate some 12 year old that just got back from wiping his nose on his hand at school (or maybe I do?). Anyway, I want to figure out what the heck that thing was at the end of Assassin's Creed 2. What's wrong with you Ubisoft? Are you really so eager for the last of my money that you would release a filler game?

Other people have said that the story is short. That's fine. But is it COOL? That's all that this stressed out college senior wants... a cool new game. Sniff, sniff. You can't just expect me to buy it just because of the AC name! With the release of the second game, there were tons of add-ons, trailers, commercials, and in general hype! I haven't gotten excited for Brotherhood and I don't know why. My brain says I should be. It's Assassin's Creed for crying out loud! But, I will wait until after Christmas when everyone's beaten it and played it out of its misery and sold it back to GameStop. I have a feeling I won't be missing much until then.

P.S. I'm sorry. I'm harsh and emotional right now.
P.P.S. Scott. That's all you get.

Fable 3, from a woman's POV.

Alright, Peter Molyneux, if you perchance happen to glance across this blog, don't hate me. I still love Fable 3.

Well, I pre-ordered Fable 3. I gave in to the power of the Villager Maker and the exclusive in-game content. I watched all the Lionhead video diaries, read every article I could about it, so that I would be prepared when it finally came out. This was the game I'd been waiting for all year.

My history with this series dated back to the first Fable. I absolutely ADORED that game. I'm a sucker for a good story and that's exactly what Fable was. So, when Fable 2 came out I naturally went out and bought it. It was a 5 star game for sure. I was especially pleased that the adventurer could be a girl. I understand that the whole dynamic for having male and female leads requires a lot more effort than just one, but I was totally weirded out by the fact that the more you upgraded your strength powers the larger your character got. The end result was a crazy Amazonian Miss Universe that probably appealed to a few guys with big girl fetishes. To me, a 5 foot 3 young adult, I was freaked. But, that wasn't enough to cause any disappointments. I was just glad that the industry was recognizing female gamers by integrating us into their games. So in the articles I had read about Fable 3 I heard that Lionhead was addressing the huge woman problem for their next installment. Awesome. Well, they fixed that problem. But, now the problem is that the woman is still taller, and still interacts with NPC's like a man would. Feminists may get mad at me for this, but I am weirded out by dancing with a male NPC and lifting him into the air in a complete role-reversal. Lionhead, your girls need to be what they are: girls! A girl can still shoot a rifle, swing a sword, and cast a Fireball. I'm just looking for a little less awkwardness playing as the princess.

Also, maybe this is just me being ignorant of genetics, but how can two white people have a black baby? Just curious. Seems kinda impossible.

So now that I've gotten my shameless plug for female gamers out of the way, let's talk about something else. What is the definition of a "fable"? A fable is a story that teaches a moral lesson. A STORY. Fable and Fable 2 had great stories! They were the focus of the game. Fable 3 became an adventure game more than an RPG. I miss the story-telling that I know that Lionhead is capable of! This time, it was kind of weak. First off, we aren't even introduced to the real danger until almost 3/4 of the way through the game. I didn't even have time to really be scared. Granted that time I did spend with the Darkness was absolutely terrifying and terrific designing. I wanted more of that! I felt like it was just kind of stuck on to the end to give us something to do while we ran Albion.

Hopefully this will be addressed in DLC that I hope will be released sometime soon, but what about Theresa? She is such a huge standout character! I'm more interested in her role in things than I am about bringing down Logan. But, like I said, hopefully future DLC will feature her.

The last thing I'll whine and complain about, is a glitch. But it's a glitch that affects the player's enjoyment of the game at a MOMENTOUS level. You all know what I'm talking about.

Jasper.

John Cleese didn't spend all that time recording line after line after line for it to never appear in the game! In my first playthrough, his voice disappeared soon after discovering the Sanctuary. So I didn't even really notice that he was there. Then I remembered: Hey, wasn't John Cleese/Jasper supposed to ride shotgun on this adventure? Where'd that guy go?

This needs to be fixed as soon as possible! I still enjoy the game, and I'd still give it 4 out of 5 without him, but with him I could potentially be charmed into a 5 despite all my other complaints. I need a patch Mr. Molyneux! I'm begging you! That's how much I love your series and your strange British humor!